Let's talk about small talk.


I will openly admit I stole this photo from my dear friend Michy's Instagram, but it rings so true!  Everywhere I go there are opportunities for small talk -- the how's the weather, what do you do for fun, how many kids do you have, what's your pet's name type of conversations.  I see their place because they afford people the chance to get to know others even if only briefly.  I've always struggled with the concept though because until I really know you, I'm not sure I care what you do for fun or what you've named your fur or human children.  That may sound mean but it's my truth.  I would rather know what makes you tick, what you're passionate about, what makes your world a better place.  Some of that may include the aforementioned niceties, but I want more.

Small take gives me anxiety.  I am constantly trying to think of things to talk about that aren't too personal or too invasive.  Being in an Uber is insanely trying for me because I feel like I have to say something if the driver speaks to me, but I know I'm two blocks away from wanting to talk about life, not how long they've been driving.  I need substance in order to feel interested and recognize that not everyone does, but I thrive on depth.  I crave real meaning and always want to know why a person feels a certain way.  Is it something from their childhood?  Are they mentally stable?  Is it their environment?  Tell me MORE.

I love that I can engage with people on a level with depth and purpose.  I can't wrap my head around those who are fine with fluff.  I know those people exist and I'm even friends with many of them, but I want to get to the root of the matter.  I always have.  For some that means I'm too intense or too focused on the why, but for me it means I get to learn, grow, and understand.  I don't honestly care what time you went to bed or how early you got up.  I want to know why you were tired and what motivated you to rise.  Maybe that makes me "weird," and I know it's made me lose people over the years who can't handle my inability to stay surface-level, but I know at the end of the day there are people who appreciate my desire to engage, listen, and make sense of life's oddities.

Thanks for the reminder, Michy, that there are others out there like me who don't just want to know what's up, but rather why what's up is meaningful and why digging below the surface is so rewarding.


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